Our Lungs are Black. Our Hearts are Gold

Certain things have been on my mind recently. Relationships, friends, the place I live, and music have all been on the top of this list. It's easy for me to think about all these things in my head, but sometimes I need to get it out. Not in a weird sappy kind of way, but rather a real way. I feel like each topic needs to be separated in to its own part and get the attention it deserves. I'm not in a shitty mood or anything, I'm just starting to realize that if I want to do anything with my life, I probably ought to start soonish, amirite?

Relationships: So, me and some friends made a movie recently for a film festival here in Corpus and it made me think a lot about the subject matter of that film...relationships. I feel like any post about relationships automatically makes your audience feel as if you are lonely and are in a bad place in life and need someone more than anything else. I assure you this is not true. I do not feel absurdly alone or out of touch. I do however feel like having someone around to be with would be cool. The film was about the idea of relationships and whether they were of any use or not. Is it worth it to be with someone and commit yourself when you can never be sure of what may lie ahead? Well, at this point in my life I think it is worth it. Will I think so ten years from now? Who knows? All I know is that it is so hard to find someone who shares your interests, humor, and general personality. In saying that, I kind of want to know what that feeling of relief is like when you find that person. I figure it's pretty neat.

Friends: I had the best friends growing up. Me and my friends were about as close as I think a group of friends that are not related physically can be. We did everything together. We played sports together, went camping together, hung out together. It seems that people always talk about the fact that people will inevitably grow farther apart as they grow older and change their interests and hobbies. I never felt this would bring me and my closest friends apart. Lets face it, it certainly did. One of us went one way, the other went another, and the other went yet another way. It's hard to stomach the idea that the people that were closest to you are no longer as close to you as you wish they would be. And this is no one person's fault. Shit changes. It's a cold hard fact of life that you cannot stay the same forever. However, it sure does suck. Hopefully at some point in the new future, that friendship that was can make some sort of reappearance.

The Place I live: I live in College Station. Its about as different from me personally as it can possibly be. This doesn't even really have to do with music or other superficial interests. It's hard to live in a place where you know the majority of people you run into have fundamentally different ideals and philosophies than you do. What do we have in common besides the fact that we attend the same academic institution? Almost nothing. It's really really sad. I feel like the people who live in the place I do are so concerned with things that people shouldn't really be concerned with. I enjoy the school and campus, but it is getting harder by the minute to tolerate people who surround me. And the sad part is I feel like I have tried to live a life of tolerance and understanding. It's tough.

Music: I don't really have a whole lot of new stuff to say in this department. As far as I know, most people are still pretty excited about the new releases set to some out in these upcoming months. The new Thrice album Beggars did leak far too early. I am guilty of downloading it and listening to it repeatedly. Its really good in my opinion. This may be because I have no real ties to old heavier Thrice. This could have made me a little more open to the idea of them getting slower and groovier. I dig it. some songs are better than others, but overall it's really cool. Also, I have been listening to a lot of a band called Living With Lions. Really good melodic punk music. Makes you feel happy and energetic. Check out their EP called Dude Manor and their full length "Make Your Mark". I can almost guarantee you will like something about it.

I feel like when I'm at parties having a good time, I tend to not be the same person as I would be in normal conversation and activities. I am starting to dislike this a lot.

Bye, now!