When I look into the mirror, I see a boy not a man.

Its been a long few days. School has gotten into its "destroy all human souls" mode and is going to stay that way until the middle of December. I really wish I did more during those first few weeks when nothing was really happening. All I can think about now is all the awesome things I wish I could be doing. Sadly, I have tests and homework to do instead now. Free time is a valuable thing I wish we could all have more of. Enough of that though. Speaking of, if you ever have free time you should stop reading my shitty blog and should venture over to Justin Salman's blog. Honestly, it's funnier and probably more relevant in all possible ways.

Warning: This blog will probably be scattered and disorganized as it will be representing the millions of scattered and disorganized thoughts going through my head right now. Enjoy (Trust me, I don't think you will.)

Over the last few days, I have been having a really similar conversation with all of the close friends I have. The conversation usually begins with how much we all hate school and essentially hate what we are doing there. We go into college with the mentality that we are going to discover what we are good at and in turn make a career out of that. It's really quite a feeling. I can remember the feeling coming out of high school. I was as excited as anyone was. I was going to have so many things I didn't have before. There would be freedom, more interesting classes, different types of people to interact with, and so much more. Did all of that happen? Well, yes and no. I did find new and interesting people with different viewpoints to interact with and I did find that some classes I took were slightly more interesting or relevant to me. But as far as the whole "what I'm good at" or "what I want to do with my life" thing, I can't say college has lived up to what it is made out to be. I understand that stuff like this also has to do with the amount of effort you put into it. Trust me, I hear that all day from family and people who think they know what they want out of life. But why is it that some people are able to hone in on exactly what they want to do while others are left standing alone wondering why they are even at school in the first place? The concept is difficult for me to understand. Do I wish I knew everything about what I wanted to do with my life? No, not completely. That would take out all of the mystery and make life a lot less interesting. I think a person needs some form of change and questioning in their life for it to be worth while. But, on the other hand, some general idea would surely make things a little easier. Its getting harder and harder to go to class each day and discover more and more things wrong with the career path you are on. A friend of mine asked me today "How did we end up in one of the most conservative majors in one of the most conservative schools in the country?". I never looked at it like that. But he was right. This was obviously a wrong choice. Sometimes you just don't fit in somewhere but have unfortunately just taken to long to figure that out. I ask everyone reading this in all seriousness. What is going to happen to us after college? Are we going to be doing something we love or are we going to get stuck in a ridiculous routine that never ends? Sure, its a serious question. I'm not trying to get really deep with this blog or anything, I just want to know that I'm not the only person who is confused with this right now. On the bright side, there are a few things that are making this experience a bit better. There are a lot of great people here who are willing to hang out and make you feel at home when they know you usually don't.

In other news, I had 4 tests in a span of three days. One on Monday, two today on Wednesday, and one on Thursday. Its relieving that its almost done, but also nerve wrecking to know that I may not have started off the semester as awesome as I was telling myself I would. But, eh, what can you do, right? I need to grow up.

So, at least there's music to make shit better. September is almost over which means October is near! "What's in October" you may ask. Well, let me tell you friends. Number one: Strike Anywhere, Polar Bear Club, Crime In Stereo, and Ruiner show on the 26th and 27th. The new Swellers album comes out September 29th. Ruiner album just came out. So much stuff is going to happen and all of those will lead up to what will hopefully be one of the best weekends of my life...Fest. It's something that most bearded listeners of punk hope to be at part of. Soooo many bands in 3 days. I sure hope it proves to be as unbelievable as everyone says it is. Way too excited.

We have a band that tries to play music. Apparently we might record within the next few months which would be cool. First we have to write more songs, and fix the ones we have already written. But that is a fun process, so I'm excited about that. Hopefully we can play some local shows here and there to get into the groove of things.

Anyways, as usual, I'll go ahead and apologize for your wasted time. And believe me, this time I mean it. I promise my goal was not to bum you out super hard. Everyone has these questions at some point I think and mine happens to be now.

Bye, now.

Please join again next time where we'll talk about happy things like puppies and rainbows.