Let’s Hope Your Resolution’s Made.

I'm not sure how I feel about this past year. Sure, every year has its ups and downs and in the end, everything seems to even out. But this year was a little different. Some things were really awesome and some things made me feel the worst I have felt in a while. While this in theory should have technically evened out, I don't think it did. I think it ended up just by a smidgen on the negative side. However, this year definitely made me realize some things that I'm glad I discovered sooner than later and that's a good thing.

School and all it's related activities: 2009.

With this year, another school year passed. Another couple of semesters involving schoolwork, homework, studying, useless number crunching, hating the people in your classes, loving the awesome new people you are fortunate enough to meet, and so on and so forth. This year was different from my past semesters in that I was super fortunate to meet some people through an on campus organization that I joined. I found out how much we all have in common and thoroughly enjoyed every minute of hanging out with those people and learning about them and their interests. It's not everyday that you can meet people with common interests and values at a school where you feel like almost everyone disagrees with everything you believe in. So that was neat. Another cool thing was that our band started to pick up a little bit. Nothing very serious, but it sure has become a lot of fun. Getting out and playing some shows really helped me get through the semester. You need some activity that you really enjoy to keep you sane when school picks up and starts to get annoying. But in the end, we are all at school to get some sort of education and its starting to hit me that I need to start taking career finding a bit more serious. There's so many people in my classes who know exactly what they are going to do and when they plan to start doing it. I guess it's kind of hard for me to decide if this is good or bad. On the one hand, they have more of a sense of security in that they've taken the time to think things through and decide on a path to take. On the other hand, they've in a sense left less room for spontaneity and "going with the flow". Which is the more important of this give and take situation? You tell me. One thing that I am certainly sure of is that I do not want a job where I walk in everyday watching the clock waiting for the day to end so I can get out of there. But somehow it keeps occurring to me that that is exactly what I am going to get out of college with a degree in finance. It's hard to not have any idea what you want to do with your life. I realize that it's very likely that many people feel this way and that in the end, it usually ends up working out somehow. I'm just not sure if it's safe to bank on that and let things run their course. Honestly, I'm so confused as to how people in my classes enjoy these things. I mean, the subject matter is not terrible, but is it interesting enough to them to base their life and career around it? Another thing I realized about my school and classes is the extent to which the competitive spirit goes. With all this talk about the Aggie community and the friendships that people build, people would be surprised how far students are willing to go to gain the upper hand even if it means cutting down another student in the process. The things that grades will do to people.

People and all its related activities: 2009.

Like I said earlier, I was super stoked to meet a lot of awesome new people this semester. I never really felt at home in College Station/Bryan, but a lot of these people really changed that for me. It felt so good being able to talk with people about things you don't normally have the opportunity to talk about with people at A&M. Sadly, I do however feel like things have changed with my older friends. These friends will NEVER be lost to me no matter what happens, but at some point you have to sit and look at the size of the widening gap between you and them. When it starts to become very evident that you have very differing views and philosophies on life, what can you do? I am completely afraid of the possibility that I grow even farther apart from these people. I want no such thing, but is it avoidable when you can start to see huge differences? I hope it is, but at this point I just cannot tell at all.

So, the other day, a friend of mine and I were talking about relationships and things like that. The conversation basically ended in them telling me that they think I am almost automatically labeled as a "friend" upon talking to someone of the opposite sex. At first, I was slightly offended, but on second thought I realized that they are completely right. Why would they say that? I have no idea. But either way they were definitely on to something. After thinking about this for a little bit, I realized there is nothing inherently wrong with this. It's cool to have friends. Friends are good things, right? Yes. But, it also hit me that at some point I would probably like this cycle to stop. Going to stuff like Fest made me realize how much that would have ruled to have someone to share that experience with. Maybe 2010 is the year for things to change? Possibly or possibly not, but let's be optimistic!

Hopes: 2010

This year wasn't all that bad. I made some great friends that I am glad I met and hope to continue to stay friends with for the rest of my college career and hopefully onwards of that. I hope 2010 is a year of change for me. I want to be more serious about finding out what I want to spend my life doing. I want to be serious about my health and take better care of myself while away from home. I want to be able to create meaningful relationships with people. All of these things are what I consider my main goals of the year. And I think that they are all achievable goals.

I hope everyone has a super kick ass New Years. Everyone is due for good time after another stressful but exciting year. Also, if you're not doing anything on the 9th, you should come out to a show we are going to play. As per usual, it may not be great musically, but it should most definitely be a fun time where we can all gather and bring in the new year. Bring in the new year 8 days after we already brought it in? Yes. Don't ask questions. Logic was never my strong suit. I'll post more details concerning location and such at a later time. 2010, let's do this.